Dig Deep Buddy Boy, You Ain't Giving Up Now!

Christmas, not sure what year 2009?

As most of you may know, I'm training for my third marathon--the Marine Corps Marathon on October 28th. I've decided to train differently for this one in my third attempt at breaking a 4:00:00 marathon. I need to shave something like 16 or 17 minutes off my last one. So I'm increasing the distance of my short runs to double digits while simultaneously increasing the distance of my long runs by 10%ish each week.

Anyway, today I was not feeling like a run AT ALL. I could not sleep last night, today is the 7-month mark of my dad's death and I, frankly, have not reconciled it yet. But then the park where I run is also the last time I saw my dad alive. We both had/have scooters and that was a point of bonding for us. The last time, we took the scooters out on a Wednesday from his house, to the park, through the park up to each lookout. I got to hear stories of he and my mom dating (they've been together essentially forever), pranks they played, how the park has changed, etc. We almost didn't take this scooter ride because he was in pain. He was in chronic pain. And, at the last minute, he called and said, "let's go..." so we did. God I'm so glad we did. I tried to talk him out of it and I'm glad I was unsuccessful (I guess that's where I get some of my stubbornness from?). So then I thought, how appropriate that I get my lazy ass off the couch and go run. I decided I would run the same route that we drove, getting to each lookout point. I didn't stop though, I let the memories propel me.

Don't know how to rotate, sorry. LOL

Somewhere between miles 4 and 5, I was on empty. I was running on fumes. Every runner knows this. Nee, every person knows this. And facing me was yet another incline/hill/elevation. They are fucking relentless in Iroquois Park. And I LOVE it. But this time, I had nothing to give. And so I said to myself, "dig deep buddy boy, you ain't stoppin now!" And so I did. And then somewhere in the midst, I realized that only when we're really empty can we find out what we're really made of. If I keep doing what I've always done, facing no new fears or challenges then how do I know if I'm living MY BEST LIFE TO THE FULLEST!? And how do I know what I'm made of!?

family vacation, 2009

And so it went the next 2.5ish miles. I kept digging deeper and deeper. My goal was to maintain 9 minute miles for 8 miles. I didn't quite meet that goal. I beat it. I maintained 8:52 minute miles. I dug deep. I found some reserves. Wait, maybe that's why they call them reserves--you reserve them for when you really need it. Gosh, I hope I have some left for the MCM. :)

And so it is with life. When you believe you're empty, at your lowest point, no energy, no gusto, no desire tell yourself, "dig deep buddy boy, you ain't stoppin now!" and I bet you'll find a hidden reserve tank. At least I did, and at least that's my twenty two point six cents worth...