Spicy Black Bean Burgers, vegan

If you have read my blog, or if you know me in person, you are probably aware that I am battling hypertension (high blood pressure) and I have also moved towards a Meatless Monday meal plan. Although honestly the Meatless Monday is more like a Roving Veggie Day as it's not always on Monday. But at least one day a week, my diet is plant based, though I do still include dairy usually. 

Anyway, the doc said maybe 30% of my blood pressure issue is from my lifestyle--diet, exercise and stress namely. So I am attacking (or at least attempting) those head on. I already don't use salt when cooking, but I've been buying more prepared and processed foods lately, especially my veggie burgers. While the Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Burger is my fave and is loaded with protein, it also has 330 mg of sodium. So this week, I decided to make my own spicy black bean burgers with a mind for getting that sodium content in half (so 165 mg). It is definitely not under 165 mg, I think it is hovering near 200-250. Still not great, but better! And I think next time I'm going to leave out the soy sauce entirely and see what it tastes like. That would bring it down to less than 100 mg of sodium per burger! (this is me doing my math, certainly not certified or whatever. I'll do the breakdown shortly). Not to mention, they were so delicious, with ZERO preservatives, using REAL and FRESH produce (for the most part), and as an added bonus--they are kid approved! 

Read the labels.
Small changes add up!

I'll post the recipe but I want to be clear that I did NOT make this
recipe up, I got it from the following blog: The Savory Vegan (that link takes you directly to the recipe, I'll post my version below including modifications I did and will do next time). bon apetit!

Ingredients

1/2 yellow onion roughly chopped
4-6 cloves garlic roughly chopped
15 oz can black beans drained and rinsed*
1 cup quick cook oats
1/2 cup bread crumbs*
1-2 jalapenos diced
1/2 cup corn
2 tbsp spicy brown mustard
1 tbsp sriracha
1 tbsp cumin
1/4 cup low sodium soy sauce or tamari
1 tbsp chili powder
pinch of salt and pepper plus more for topping*
6 burger buns*
OPTIONAL TOPPINGS: lettuce tomato, onion, spinach, jalapeños, banana peppers, BBQ sauce, vegan ranch, etc.

* on the advice of a friend, I dried out the beans a little on low heat (225) in the oven. Another friend stopped over and I forgot the beans so they got too dry. Next time I'll set the time for maybe 10 minutes. I had to add more water back in. 

I used panko instead of bread crumbs as they're lower in both sodium and carbs

We don't eat burgers with buns, again sodium and carbs plus it takes away from the flavor in my opinion. 

I don't salt anything I cook. 

Step 1:

I saute'ed the onions and garlic in water, not butter (as per the recipe), I think next time I'll add some EVOO instead, the burger lacked any fat and EVOO is a "healthy" fat anyway. 

Step 1: 

Meanwhile mash up the beans (I think I'll mash them a little more next time). 

Step 3: 

Mix remaining ingredients in another bowl well (I think I'll give the oats a whirl in the blender next time for a smoother texture that holds together better). 

Step 4: 

Blend the onions/garlic in a blender. 

Step 5: 

Mix ALL ingredients together. 

Step 6: 

Pat out, the recipe says you can get six, but I got seven. My son and I ended up eating 1.5 each, topped with avocado slices and a side fruit salad. This filled us up thoroughly, but not so much we didn't have time for ice cream a little later, of course! 

Self Care Looks Like...

...many different things.

Over the last couple of years I have struggled with accepting my humanness. My house is almost always messy. I am almost always late paying at least one bill per month due to disorganization. My yard is, well at least it's not a jungle (on a good week!). My bookkeeping and accounting entries are generally delayed (often by a lot). We only have two chairs in our dining room, which do not match the table. If we have guests we bring in lawn chairs or folding chairs. And by guests I mean anyone over. The stacks on the dining room table are only cleared when we have company or during high soap season, where our entire dining room is cleaned top to bottom and then becomes our soap studio. Which is now. There are cobwebs in the corners and stacks of unread books given to me by well-meaning friends. Stacks. the blinds in my living room don't even match because they didn't have the size I needed when I bought the new ones, and I never went back. 6 months later. Which is kinda ok because neither color goes with the paint on the walls anyway (I did at least paint the walls when I had my floors redone last year!).

I am struggling to include accepting my own humanness as part of my self care.

All too frequently, I replay the above paragraph in my head instead of this one:

I own three businesses, all of which are cash-positive. I still see clients regularly, who seem to walk away in a better place than when they arrived. My son is still alive. Let me repeat that, my son is alive. My house is paid for and still standing. My pantry and fridge are well-stocked. I have a few friends who I can count on with my life. I am guiding/coaching/helping my son navigate a scary world in which the odds were not in his favor, but he's changing that. I volunteer in the community. I believe in, love and help my students and staff. I try to keep a healthy lifestyle in mind, body and spirit. I can run and hike 3+ miles. I am endlessly hopeful and believe in all people. I am a human.

I am struggling to include accepting my own humanness as part of my self care.

So today's self care is going to be this: We may, or may not, have a friend and their child over for an xbox fest and grilling out. I am trying to accept the unknown in that but first, I am going to accept the my yard will remain in an incomplete state, my house will remain in a state of disarray, and the burgers and dogs will probably be the inexpensive meat from Kroger because I forgot to lay the good meat out and, I'll be honest, I am probably gonna forget before I even hit "publish" on this journal.

So today, self care may not include meditation, running, a luxurious bath or even healthy eating. But I am going to try my hardest for it to include accepting my humanness. And if I fail at that, too, then, well...I guess God ain't done working on me yet, is He!?

I Feel Defeated

I am turning 40 in a few months. I am ok with turning 40 and think of it as just another year. Some call it a milestone year, but I don't get it.

Or at least, I didn't get it until I went to the doctor this week.

I began going to the doctor on a regular basis six years ago when I became a foster dad. Part of the process for certification in Kentucky is an annual physical. I mean, I guess it's a good idea to get a baseline of all your numbers and stuff anyway. And those numbers have been relatively steady except for two things: my weight and my blood pressure. Life has been stressful lately and I have an unhealthy relationship with food--in that I tend to eat my emotions, caving in to late night sweets and even chips.

But for the last few years my doctor (Dr. Julie Ellis, one of Louisville's top docs, LOVE HER!) has been monitoring my blood pressure closely. I have never smoked and I gave up alcohol about six years ago. So she suggested I reduce the salt and increase the physical activity. I eliminated salt almost entirely from my cooking, and the physical activity comes and goes. None-the-less, each year my blood pressure steadily increased. She says it's mostly genetics catching up with me with some lifestyle choices thrown in to exacerbate it. I can't change my genetics, but I can change my choices.

Can I be honest here? I feel defeated. Entirely defeated. I am in the healthcare profession. I espouse being healthy in mind, body and soul. My private practice is called Infinite Balance Massage (I made that a clickable link, shameless plug). I run 2-3 times a week and hike 1x a week. Each activity is 2-5 miles. WTF BODY!? Why are you doing this to me!? Maybe 40 is more than just another year. Maybe it's the year my body decides to revolt and implode. I want to change the lifespan and quality of life statistics for men in my family. But my body seems to have missed that memo. At times, I feel paralyzed to do anything. Anything except eat more snack cakes, that is.

I am trying to believe it when I say I'm not going to let this defeat me; I am going to reclaim my life and body. But I don't believe it, yet. I have never considered myself a negative person, but this really has me down. I have a plan in my head, but execution of said plan...well...I don't know, I feel paralyzed. I guess I'll just do what I can do, where I am, when I can and see where the (low sodium, baked) chips fall. I will attempt to celebrate small steps forward while not getting stuck on the small steps backwards. I know I can conquer this challenge, I just don't know if I will. I'm not looking for pep talks or my cheer squad, I'm just being honest.

So here we go, maybe I'll document some of my journey here for accountability. Maybe someone else needs to read it. Maybe I just need to vent it. I don't know, but here it is. I'd like to end this missive with a celebration: I made a small step forward. My yard is a disaster zone (so much of my life seems to be actually). So I decided to reclaim a little of it. There is a section of my yard screaming for some landscaping. So I bought five bags of mulch and some flowering plants on clearance. My son and I spent about an hour weeding (i.e. we used the weed eater to cut the grass to the dirt), plucking small trees, laying landscape fabric, planting five flowering plants (four of which will come back) and spreading mulch. I chose to do only one little section between two trees. It is closest to the area of my yard I call my lanai (for the record, I don't have a lanai) so that when I sit out back, I can see progress. It looks nice and I feel I accomplished something which will bring me some peace and tranquility. I guess that's part of what I can control about my life choices in regards to my blood pressure. Yes. that's it. I will get through this (and one day I'll believe that) because I am owning the 30% that isn't genetics. Today, I am proud that I did something yesterday to that end.

40. In 5 months I'll be 40. Many men don't make it out of 50 in my family and many of those who do do not have the quality of life I desire and deserve. But me? I plan to be different. And that started with planting some flowers.

that is technically my neighbors property and her fence.
The fence has effectively made that my property now.
For three years it has been overgrown. 

But this year, I am reclaiming it.
I am excited to see how these plants grow and flower.
And possibly extending this process through the entire row. 

Work Less, Live More

I will expand on this entry later. Suffice it to be summed up in this quote:

Nobody on his (sic) deathbed ever said, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." ~ Paul Tsonga

Be Like Robyn

This came up in my memories on Facebook this morning. Backstory: approximately a year ago I was trying to hold Jefferson County Public Schools to some level of accountability for their admitted lack of bullying prevention and, arguably minimal, intervention. My son was bullied to the point of wanting to take his own life. He was excluded from activities, and the school itself almost excluded him from the yearbook because he was hospitalized during the week the layout was finalized. But there were glimmer of hope...one JCPS employee asked about his well being, she even came to our house to help catch him up on the music they were learning in band class. 

And then there was Robyn. My Knight in Shining Armor for 20+ years. My Savior. My anchor of hope in this oft-hopeless world. So I wanted to recollect a story to you and encourage you to Be Like Robyn. 

Long post, please read it all the way:


Today, after receiving an e-mail from the Deputy Superintendent essentially stating she would no longer communicate to me except through their legal department (still no mention of any child's well being), I got to chat with a dear friend of 24 years. She has held my hand through this, let me know what my (and Paul's) rights are and kept me going when I was ready to let the voice die out.


Today I shared a moment I doubted she even remembered. It was junior year english, Mr. Peacock's class. Most people adored him, but I loathed him and the classroom culture he created. At one point during the year, we were invited to bring in current events topics and discuss them. This one particular day, a student brought in an article about a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) that a student was trying to begin in Utah (I believe utah). She was expressly prohibited from the after-school club, despite having gone through the same steps as all other clubs. Mr. Peacock offered his own opinions, similar to Bill Lamb on Fox News, on each current event. On this one, and I remember it as clear as day--he was standing to the left of the front of the classroom, he had a green sweater with some shirt underneath, wringing his hands as if he had words of wisdom he knew we wanted to hear ready to drip forth from his puckered lips, he paced left, he paced right, he looked at the ground and then at us, his captive audience. The next two statements had profound impact on my life so I want you to read them clearly:

Mr. Peacock: Here are my thoughts, on this particular subject...unfortunately in this field, of english literature majors, we have more than our fair share and we have to learn to get along.

Student, raising hand: Why is that unfortunate, Mr. Peacock?


There was no answer, except that we immediately moved on to vocabulary. I learned two lessons that day, the world is full of two kinds of people: Mr. Peacocks and Robyn Smiths. I knew there would be people who judged, looked down, scorned, etc. people like me. And I also knew there were people who would speak up on my behalf when my voice wasn't yet strong enough to do so on its own, and those voices are strong enough to silence the others.


People like Robyn save people like me. Read that line again: People like Robyn SAVE people like me. I have never once felt like I wanted to die. I have beat a lot of the odds that were stacked against me, not because I am awesome, but because the village that has always surrounded me worked to change those odds to my favor.


In all of this, I wish there were just one more Robyn to speak up at the District. But since there isn't, since it appears hundreds if not thousands of students are yearning for a Robyn in their lives, we'll trudge forward and try our darndest to ensure it happens. Most of those students won't ever meet or know Robyn, but they'll surely feel the effects of her strong, confident and loud voice... until their own voices are strong enough to carry the message independently and for the next generation.


If you have a Robyn in your life, thank them. If you don't, become one. To Robyn and all the others like her, thank you for saving my life. And the lives of so many of my brothers and sisters along the way. To those we couldn't save, I am truly sorry. We tried hard, and we'll try harder next time.

You have worth.

You have worth. You have something to contribute. You are important.

I want you to hear that. Maybe even say it to yourself.

I have worth. I have something to contribute. I am important.

What you have to offer this world is something that only you can provide. There is no other person who has the unique gifts and contributions that you do.There may be times when you find it hard to believe. There may be times when others make it hard to believe about yourself. There may be times when you simply do NOT believe it. And there may be times that others do not believe it about you. But I want you to hear it loud and clear:

You have worth. You have something to contribute. You are important.

Rainy Derby Day & Homemade Brownies

It's  an ol' grey, rainy, dreary Derby Day here in Derby City. (A great day for the long shots, I might add!)

My son has a friend over and we were supposed to go to Kentucky Kingdom, but the rain kept us away. Instead, we went to a delicious local pizza place (Derby City Pizza). After returning home the boys settled into building some empire on Minecraft and I turned my attention to labeling soaps for our small business (like us on FaceBook: Soapman & Son). Then, I decided my grandmother would bake brownies! Seeing as this is the house she lived in for 30ish years, that I have her 8x8 baking dish and her love of cooking I decided I, too, MUST bake brownies! FROM SCRATCH! I did not search her recipe box, instead I turned to the Internet.

Here is the link to the food blog I used for the brownie recipe today. It was meh. The flavor was not strong enough, the sugar quantity made it too sweet. Luckily I added some walnuts and chocolate chips to enhance the recipe.

next time I think I'll cut the sugar, add a little more flour and definitely add more cocoa. With that said, based on how quickly the boys devoured their piece I'd say it's got winning (potential) written all over it!

So here you go, enjoy this day, even when it's nasty outside you can make it delightful (and delicious) inside!

bon apetit!
Donald

ooops, I did it again!

We all make mistakes.

In fact, as I am writing this, I am sitting in a local Barnes & Noble Cafe waiting for a Writer's Group to begin. I made child care arrangements because I don't like to leave my child home alone too late at night. I coordinated my dinner plans around the start of this group. Made sure to show up in time to use the restroom, get a beverage and settle in. I did all the right (or write? haha) things...except I did them on the wrong week! This Group is meeting NEXT Thursday, not tonight. Ugh. And I could have stayed and enjoyed my dinner company longer!

So I had to make some decisions on how I was going to respond....normally I get so angry, bent out of shape, frustrated at myself for being so disorganized that I beat myself up and fall into a pit of self-imposed shame. But tonight, I tried something different, tonight I shrugged it off and got to writing on my own anyway. As a result, both this blog post AND journal entry were borne. This is still very rough, so forgive me, but please also give me some feedback if you'd like:

For this journal entry, we're going to dive into the imperfections that lie within you; your ability to make mistakes, your responses/reactions to them, and the impact of both the mistake and your response has on you. Let's get started.

Think back throughout your life and list three different mistakes you made:
1) A small, inconsequential mistake:
2) A medium mistake, perhaps with some consequence:
3) A major mistake, maybe with major consequence:

What impact did each of this mistakes have on you/your life in both the short and long term?
1) (small mistake)
2) (medium mistake)
3) (major mistake)

What was your response to each:
1) (small mistake)
2) (medium mistake)
3) (major mistake)

What fueled each of these responses? Is this how you normally respond or react to your mistakes? What informed or influenced the way you respond to your own mistakes (think way back if you need to) ?

How do these mistakes and your responses to them reflect on you?

Would you respond the same today? What about in 10 years?

How would you *like* to respond to mistakes you make in the future?