Self Care--Reminder

Just a reminder that self-care is critical.

It's been a tough week and I see many people engaging in and others ignoring self care.

Please, take care of you. You are the only you that you've got.

One Small Thing

Another day, another shooting. We ask for sweeping change, instead we get swept under the rug.

Fast forward a week or two:
another day, another shooting. We ask for sweeping change, instead we get swept under the rug.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

But what if we don't. What if we don't repeat. What if we don't ask for sweeping change? What if we ask for small change first? What if...

We get to know someone who may be different than us? Someone on the fringe? Someone who eats lunch alone? Someone who has a bad rap? Someone who we feel we have nothing in common with? What if we just sat down and got to know someone. Hear their story and share ours, devoid of judgement. Just heard their lived experience as a human, like us. Wait, we DO have something in common, then.

When my son discovered I was gay, he wouldn't let me even touch him, sit next to him or tuck him in for a few days because, and I quote, "I am afraid you are going to rape me." We worked through it because I was willing to hear his fear and he was willing to hear my story. What if we did that? What if we heard each others fears and stories? What if we just shut the fuck up and heard each other?

I bet then we'd find sweeping change, except this time it won't be on Capitol (or Capital, I can never remember) Hill...it'll be within our hearts, our minds, our spirit, our soul...and maybe that change is something we could take to DC.


So try it. What have you got to lose, what we're doing now ain't working is it!?

"Hershey Chocolate Syrup" copycat

Mmmk I need to confess: I LOVE MOCHAS. I mean, that is NOT a surprise to any of you who know me in the real world. And I LOVE stopping at coffee shops. In fact, I once had a dream of opening a coffee shop. Dreams change, but my love for mochas remains the same!

Now, I dream of remaining debt free, retiring in 15 years and living life on the open road in my RV. Dreams can change, but today I am working to make them happen. And part of that is simply cutting superfluous expenses, like mochas.

My mother bought me a Ninja Coffee machine thing. I had been coveting it for several months. I would put it in my amazon cart, then remove it. Put it back. Remove it. I asked for nothing for Christmas except a set of sheets for my bed and the rest to be donated to St. Joe's Children's Home. Instead, I opened a Ninja Coffee Machine. I can't say I am sad.

I can't believe I am going to admit this, but I had gotten to the point of making 3-6 coffee shop stops a week. Sometimes twice in a day. Mathematically that ends up being about $1,250 with an average of just under 5 visits a week at $5 a drink. O. M. G. That's a lot of money! In fact, because I am a budget-nerd, I used the SEC website to calculate that I would be saving approximately $24,000 from now until I plan to semi-retire in 15 years if I cut out ALL coffee shop stops. (I am not going to do that, mind you, but the numbers are staggering...enough to get me to cut them down to one a week.) Here is the website to calculate savings: Savings Calculator. I did a basic web search for best 10 year CD rates (I know, I can get a better interest rate with a different form of investment) for 2.45% APR. This is a modest ROI. Fairly modest.

So now what I do is for every day I WANT a latte or mocha and yet am able to skip the stop I put that $4-5 (Lattes: $4; Mochas: $5) in an envelope. Every month I am going to take half the contents of that envelope and invest it into my newly-created acorn account (If you click this link and sign up through me, I get an additional $5 and YOU get an additional $5 FROM acorn. $5 free, that's a mocha y'all! Here is the link: Join ACORN, Save Money!) I am going to put it in a moderately aggressive investment strategy because if I had bought all those mochas...well, I would have lost that $5 anyway at least this way I have a chance of getting a higher return! I make my first investment this month and I am really excited!

So on to the good stuff...one way I talk myself out of mochas is by making them myself. I used to use hot cocoa mix, but now I kinda want a little better on my palette so I make my own chocolate syrup (of course, like who doesn't?). It ends up being about $1.50 per batch and it makes PLENTY of mochas. I also have extra for ice cream topping, hot cocoa, waffles, you get the drift...

Here is the recipe I use, courtesy of The Genius Kitchen:
1 Cup Cocoa
1.5 Cups Sugar (I used just a little more than 1C, cutting almost half a cup out)
1 Cup water
2 teaspoons vanilla (I mix 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1 teaspoon mint extract)

Mix cocoa and sugar, add water. Heat over low, mixing until water is fully incorporated. Bring to a gentle rolling boil while stirring constantly. Boil 5 minutes (recipe says 3, but I like mine thicker). Enjoy hot or wait til it cools. I store mine in a mason jar in the fridge.

I will make one in the morning and try to post a pic. But seriously, even if you don't make mochas this chocolate syrup is the bomb! In my opinion, it is superior to the stuff you get in a can.

...or at least that's my 26.2 cents worth anyway.

 

Cave into the Crave, With Moderation

Ok, I went to the gym today to get a 30 minute walk in and decided to go ahead and weigh myself. I can *feel* that I have gained some fat back in the way my stomach feels, my sleep patterns, and how my clothes feel. And I was right. I've gained a couple pounds back. Sigh.

I kicked off 2018 with getting my coffee shop stops under control in January. I am focusing February on getting my bill-paying organization...well....organized and I am also devoting mental energy to curbing the cravings I have for all things sweet, be it candy, cookies, cake, I crave it all ! And I crave it all the time. Like right now, for instance, as I type this blog post. I really want a ding dong (man those are so delish!) But today, I am balancing my craving and my resistance in the following way:

Fruit smoothie with half tablespoon of chocolate chips!

Yes, that's right. I am actually caving to my craving by adding a smidge of chocolate chips to my smoothie but also curbing the craving by not getting that ding dong cupcake. I also use dark chocolate chips which are slightly healthier (although...).

I topped this with whipped cream and
a frozen peach slice.

So here is my recipe to help when I have a sweet tooth I just can't seem to quiet:
Liquid of choice (apple juice, orange juice, etc. + milk to make it creamy)
Greek yogurt (I actually omitted this today) which gives it an ice cream texture
Fresh fruit of choice (today: Half banana, Handful blueberries)
Frozen fruit to desired texture/thickness
1 teaspoon--1 Tablespoon chocolate chips
1/2 " -- 1" finger of ginger (trust me)

I use a Ninja Blender and I do not, for a second, regret spending the extra money to get a nice one.

Blend liquids and fresh fruit (note: if you use OJ or another acidic juice you'l want to blend that and the fruit first, then add the frozen fruit THEN the milk or else it'll curdle. I usually use apple to avoid).

Then add the ginger, chocolate chips and frozen fruit a little at a time to get desired thickness. you will want to blend it longer than you think necessary to ensure all frozen chunks are blended and blending a little extra just gives it that extra creamy texture like a milkshake!

That's it. A fresh (frozen) fruit smoothie, less than $2 and I get my chocolate fix while also getting in a large portion of my RDA of fruit and tons of vitamins! If you want to take the health consideration up a notch, try adding a small amount of spinach or kale. Start with just a little until your taste buds adjust. Trust me, you won't even notice it after a few and your body will really thank you!

Next time I make mine, I will try to measure more accurately.

So begins February and a recommitment to myself and my well being. Or, rather, an on going and evolutionary commitment to myself and my well being.

Ministry of Presence

I found out yesterday that one of my dear friends from Florida has passed suddenly.

I was skeptical of Allan at first, as I am of most all people in leadership roles in organized religion. I met him as Camp Chaplain for one of the Summer Camps I was working, directing, team building, I don't recall my specific function to be honest. When I asked, "what exactly DOES a Camp Chaplain do, precisely?" As I had never heard the term before...his response was simple: We are here to meet the spiritual needs of the campers and the staff. But mostly, we are here to provide a Ministry of Presence.

Wait. What? So your job is to just be there? Isn't that everyone's job at Camp or in any job?

Yes.

And no.

Yes, his Calling was to be Present. Not just there. And Allan did a wonderful job of being present. When he asked, "how are you?" he truly was asking to listen, not just to hear, "I'm good, thanks and you?" He wanted to be present. My gosh it took me years to recognize his Ministry WAS of presence in his daily life.

He was present for midnight sick camper calls, for midday iced coffee requirements (or red bull as was often my case back then. Diet though, save those sugar calories. He always knew.) When I broke up from any number of relationships, he was there. We had become friends by this time and he'd drive up from Sarasota. Sometimes we'd just have dinner and talk. Sometimes we'd go to the clubs (yep). Sometimes we were just silent, in presence. But his Ministry was on-going.

I remember one time I was in Orlando for fun and he for work. We were looking for a specific bar/club/whatever and honey we drove all over Orlando looking for it and could not find it. Traffic was horrendous. I think we ended up doing nothing but driving for hours on end. And had a blast. He was present. And unassuming. And withheld judgement. He walked soft, but carried a mighty stick. He made people's lives easier. He brought joy. He brought a deep devotion to his family and friends.

He brought Presence to life in ways that I would only understand years later.

My invitation and purpose of this blog isn't just to memorialize him but to invite you to be present today. Fully present. When you ask someone "how are you?" Truly stop and listen and hear. When someone is sick, give them a little extra care and nurturing. When the world is speeding up, slow down.

Today, be like the best Camp Chaplain I have ever worked with...Be a Minister of Presence.

While your presence will be missed, your lessons will live on.