Beauty & ugliness; life & death

Sunday's hike was a beautiful one. It was all about death; about life.

Life and death. Beauty and ugliness. 

Those two sentences can be at odds with one another, but really they're not. This season (Autumn in general, not this specific year) for me represents a lot of death, endings, transitions. It represents a lot of sadness, grief, and loss. It was October 24th that I lost my dad. Five days later Stacey, my landlady, wrongfully evicted me from the house I'd been renting. And my grandmother began the final stage of her battle against cancer and died on January 15th. That was all in one year! So to say this time of year holds a lot of ugly for me is an understatement. 

Through the last seven years, however, I've found the beauty. 

My dad died and birthed in me a new direction in life. My landlady evicted me, freeing my homing situation up to be able to move in with my grandma to take care of her in her home, allowing her to die here (I have since bought the same house and made it my home). My grandmother died with my mom and me on each side of her holding her hand as she made her last exhalation. 

Now, I can see the beauty. Were it not for the death of that season of my life, I would not know the beauty of today's. 

And so that is what I chose to focus on in my hike. Surrounded by death and dormancy, I sought out the beauty. All around me, it was bountiful. From the trail runners taking their muddy shoes off in the parking lot to the beautiful cardinal who guided me into the forest. The pond in the hollow, teeming with fish gave beautiful backdrop to the leaves which had fallen and, previously, obscured the view. A few purple flowers remained vibrant, defying the brown, decaying leaves around them. And, much to my delight, I found an acorn (or tree seed of some sort) on a rich patch of green moss with life bursting forth as it had begun to sprout.  

Sometimes life can hold up death; let it go.

because sometimes, only in death can life begin

I entered the forest a little melancholy and reluctant, I don't usually like this time of year for all that it represents and the long, dark, cold days ahead. But I emerged from the drag forest with a new perspective and outlook. I chose to focus on finding glimpses of life and beauty, even amidst the death and ugly of the season. Lo and behold, I found it. 

I wonder how this lesson could be applied to other aspects of my life. Something to ponder, for sure.