Give from the Heart, Not the Ego

It is the time of year for lots of charitable giving. There are various trees with children’s names on them, schools with wish lists, foster care agencies with children in care. . . and they’ll tell you exactly what they want for Christmas. Purchase that list. Charity is about serving others, not yourself or your ego so get the gifts on the list. If you want to do additional, fine, purchase extra stuff you “think” they would *LOVE*, but only after you’ve purchased what they’ve requested. They know what they want, you don’t. it’s not your time to make a political statement—if a girl wants a barbie and pink sparkly shoes, gift her those; if she wants Legos and Hotwheels get her those. Same for a boy—if he wants transformer shoes and a pocketknife, get him those; if he wants sparkly shoes and a barbie, get him those. This is not about you, it’s about the child and helping their family.


Let me speak from experience: Years ago, we put together a “Christmas Wish List” for a generous individual to help provide my then foster son (now adopted). We worked together to thoughtfully put together the wish list for him. One thing he included were specific Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies. We specifically put NOT THE BOOKS—DVDs ONLY. And what did they end up gifting us? All of the books. What did we already have copies of? All of the books, which he had read at least twice already. We also put NO CLOTHES as my son has always had his own unique style, a dark style some may say. What’d we get? Literally grranimals matching tops/bottoms from Target that I took one look at, knew he’d never wear them, and donated them to another person who asked for that type of clothing.


I know we all really want to help this, and every, holiday season. Please be mindful of the reason for helping is to make someone else’s life better and more enriched, not your own. If you are uncomfortable purchasing a specific item, you can skip it—usually the lists have several items in varying price ranges and few families “expect” you to purchase the entire list. In fact, few families “expect” anything, we’re just grateful to have any support. Please do not read this as any type of dissuasion from helping, in fact, it is an encouragement to help, and a little review on what that may look like. If you use a small agency (like a local foster care agency or school), why not call them and ask for clarification? Our Foster Care Specialist could’ve told the family my son already had every book, that’s why we were asking for the movies specifically. I assure you, each family is super appreciative of the help you’re offering, and by generously securing the items on the list—you’re truly making someone’s Christmas more joyful, you may even find YOUR Christmas more joyful in ways you can’t even imagine. . . Just think of that child opening the transformer toy, even though they’re a girl. Or the boy opening a beginner sewing machine, even though they’re a boy. In that moment, they will know they are supported, loved, embraced and valued by the community—by you. That oughtta lift even the Scroogiest of all Scrooges’ spirits this holiday season.



So give, give generously, give often, give from your heart and give what’s on the list as you’re able.