You are the company you keep

Today my business, the Louisville School of Massage played host to a retreat focusing on creating a Vision Board for 2018. While I believe the act of creating vision boards is powerful, more powerful than that (today) was the group of people in the room.

It was a small and intimate group of about 10 people ranging in age from 15-50ish. Three sets of parent/child were present, including me and my son. While my son's journey and story are his to share, I will summarize that it's been a difficult road, to say the least. The fact that he *wanted* to attend (or at least chose to attend on his own volition) truly is a testament to his desire to have a better life for himself and his children, should he choose to have them.

And for me as his parent, it reinforced that one of the most important decisions I can make as a parent is who I let in my inner-circle. Who I surround myself and my family with is ultimately who we become. I believe it is imperative for parents to be very selective in the company they keep. Do not be confused, this does not mean to be judgemental of people, but it does mean to be careful of the influences which impact my family. Ultimately, if I allow toxic people into my family/life, then my family/life become toxic; conversely if I invite positive and affirming people in my family/life, then my family/life become more positive and affirming. The group today definitely enriches my family.

So this evening I invite you to spend some time thinking about the influencers in your life--are they impacting you in a positive way? Are they influencing you to become a better person ? And ultimately, how are you impacting and influencing those in your life? Are you impacting them in a positive way? Are you influencing them to become a better person?

You know the old adage, you are what you eat? Well, I'd like to expand that...You are what you eat and the company you keep.

...or at least that's my 26.2 cents worth anyway.
~Peace
Donald

A Spring Awakening!

I think it is safe to say that we are in the midst of a cold and bleak winter. Locally, temperatures have not risen above freezing in probably two weeks and many of those days we've fluctuated between zero and 15. That does not even factor in windchill, or "real feel" as some call it.


And so I sit at the table in my dining room, gazing out the four-panel bay-window onto my seemingly barren peach trees...trees that I know will show signs of life soon enough. But today, they look dead. They are grey and brittle. As the wind blows across their limbs, they give their own shiver in protest of the arctic assault thrust upon them. Yet in their roots--in their soul--they, too, know they are just in a period of regeneration; a time of self-care, if you will.


I reflect back on my own life at the times I thought I was stagnant and dead...and now I realize I was simply in a period of rest and hibernation. I may have appeared "dead" to myself and to the world but come the spring of my life...man oh man was it a glorious rebirth!

The most obvious time of metaphoric death for me was after my dad and grandma died. One suddenly and one to cancer. I was catatonic for a year. But then I woke up once the ground became warm that spring. I became a parent, enrolled in massage school and exited a career I'd enjoyed for almost two decades. What a rebirth!


Only in hindsight and perspective am I able to see I needed that long winter of rest and dormancy in order to store up the energy for the next stage of growth.


I share this because some of you may be in that same "winter" of life. You may feel dead and stagnant but you're not. May I invite you to shift your perspective that you're in a period of dormancy (not stagnation or death), storing up energy for your spring awakening. Are you ready? I am!



...or, at least that's my 26.2 cents worth, anyway.

~Donald Taylor, Jr.~

Build a Door

Throughout my life of coaching, counseling, guiding, leading and listening I have come across many people who see others as lucky because they have many opportunities "just handed to them." While this may be the case some of the time, I'd venture a guess to say that more oft than not those "lucky" people went out and built a door so that opportunity could come-a-knockin'. And then they had the audacity to answer the knocks!

Are you building doors for opportunities? Are you answering when it's knocked?

Weekly Savings Challenge, Remix!

Weekly Savings Challenge

Many of us have seen that weekly savings challenge. On week 1, you save $1, week 2 you save $2, and so on. And several of my friends have tried it. I have started it three times and successfully completed it once. One. Single. Time.

That was the last time I attempted it and I want to share what worked for me. I didn’t stick with “the plan” as outlined! I admit, I am not the most organized, stringent, to-do list oriented person. I probably wouldn’t even remember to put into my retirement account if it weren’t for auto-transfer! And yet I also realize the importance of saving on a routine basis (again, thank you auto transfer !!). This envelope system, though, is a great way to become more disciplined in saving and can help with holiday spending, too! So here is what I did:

I gave myself permission to skip around. Face it, come November, few people have an extra $48 to save but maybe you do the week you get your tax refund? So put your $48 in the week you have an extra $48. And color the box in! What box? You may be asking…simple, I created the grid below, cut it out and taped it to a brown envelope. As I put the weekly savings of my choice in, I colored the box in. This way, when you need a smaller dollar amount to save—you can STILL stay on track to intentionally save. More important than that, to me, was getting in the habit of saving SOMETHING each week, the discipline of saying, “ I am going to look at my budget and put something into savings.” Then the behavior side of savings comes into play. I mean, I am pretty sure most of us are aware that saving money is probably a good thing to do. So why don’t we? In the two failed attempts, when I had to skip a week, I felt like I had fallen off the plan and failed. So it was less likely for me to put in the next week. Which created this downward spiral. By giving yourself permission to save the amount you can, you allow yourself to continue to be rewarded and keep at it the following week. Plus, I will admit, it was pretty gratifying to see my grid get colored in solid!

This year, I created a few extra squares—a bonus square and some partial squares. I have a son now and I have NO clue what extra expenses may come up throughout the year. There may come a week when I’ve already put my $1 in and I don’t have enough to put a full amount. So I will put in a partial amount, color that square in and keep at it! The point is to get into the habit of saving weekly.

I hope this helps you save for whatever financial goal(s) you may wish to achieve. I plan to stop the savings in December this year and apply it towards my Christmas spending. Because that is my plan, I give myself permission to deviate from this system. What will you do with the extra money you save?

Weekly Savings Challenge

1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31	32	33	34	35	36	37	38	39	40
41	42	43	44	45	46	47	48	49	50
51	52	Partial:	Partial:	Partial:	Bonus:	Bonus:	Bonus:	Bonus:	Total:

Decluttering: A Method for Success!

Mmmk, imma be honest here: EVERY year from Christmas to New Year's Eve I engage in a decluttering mania. And every year I'm like, "HOW did this happen!? Again!? " And yet the next year it still happens.

So this year, what I chose to do during my phase of purging clutter (and boy had it accumulated) I set a goal of purging one bag per day from Christmas (I actually started a few days before this year) until NYE. In years past, I would get so focused on filling the trash bag that I would get overwhelmed when I didn't make it and then I'd just stop and I'd be off track.

This year I mixed it up. I didn't set a size limit on the bag! I finally outsmarted myself and my negative patterns. This came in really handy one day when it was 10 at night, wrapping paper was thrown hither and yon, I was running a slight fever, coughing up my fourth lung (what?) and just didn't feel like it. Then I remembered...it's only one bag. No size requirements! So I grabbed a small paper bag I use for the farmer's market when I sell soaps (think one of those brown lunch sacks), and walked around putting random items of junk, trash, clutter in it until it was full. In no time at all, I had achieved my goal for the day: One bag of clutter in the trash/recycle/donation bin!

The next day I got up feeling quite successful and went on to fill four grocery bags of clutter from my kitchen alone! 

I share this only to encourage you to set yourself up for success in your goal setting. I believe in setting unrealistic goals, sure, like retiring with a million dollars in the bank. But then set your little incremental steps to get there. Be sure to celebrate your successes and modify your failures. If your goal is to lose 100 pounds, maybe your micro goal can be to get active for 20 minutes a day...even if that's just seven three-minute commercial breaks while watching television. If you want to eat healthier, start with one meal or snack a day. Your goals should scare you, and your steps should motivate and inspire you.

Whatever it is, YOU CAN DO THIS! I have faith in you. Later in the week I am going to post my weekly savings plan which will help you save $1,000+ by Christmas time! And it's all about little steps, celebrating success, and both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Remember, you CAN achieve your lofty and unrealistic goals, with making the next best step/choice possible.

Well, at least that's my twenty six point two cents worth anyway...

Traditions

Today is the first day of a new year (2018). New Year's Eve and Day are both often filled with traditions and superstitions. . . cabbage and pork, a penny in the pot, don't wash clothes or you'll wash away your wealth, so on and so forth. For many it is also a time of traditions...a particular bar/club, certain group of friends over to ring in the year, that specific snack/appetizer someone brought ONE YEAR and it became tradition, brunch afterwards...

So today, I thought I would share the rough outline of one of my journal entry prompts in my upcoming book of journal prompts for a healthier mind, body and soul. Be mindful this is in an unedited format, but just a glimpse:

Think back on all the strange, boring, wild, wonderful, horrible, exciting, stressful traditions in your family and life? (you can list them out here if you wish as they come to you)

Select one that brings you joy to think about as you answer these next few prompts: 
What is a tradition which brings you joy in your life/family?

When did it start?

How did it begin and who began it?

What is its meaning to your life/family?

What is so significant about this tradition?

Describe your favorite memory attached to this tradition?


Now for a moment, think on one that does not bring you joy: 
What is a tradition which does not bring you joy?

When did it start?

How did it begin and who began it?

What is its meaning to your life/family?

What is so significant about this tradition?

Describe a memory attached to this tradition:

What would happen if you just stopped this tradition?


Now, for a moment, think on a tradition which has not yet begun:
If you could create a brand new tradition for generations to come, what would it be?

When would you start it? And with whom?

What would the meaning be for you and your family?

Why would it be significant?

Where did you get this idea?

What will help you/prevent you from beginning this tradition?

12 Reflections in 12 Minutes: 2017

Every year I spend 12 minutes, stream of conscious, reflecting on 12 lessons I've learned over the last year. So here you go:

1) Fight like hell to keep those you love alive.
2) Don't let anyone not know how much you love them.
3) You really don't need a big support system, just a few truly make the difference.
4) Find what you love, and pour every ounce of yourself into it.
5) Allow yourself to meander...in life, relationships, careers, goals, books, hobbies, it's how you evolve, remaining fresh and authentic to each stage of your life.
6) Clear the clutter! Take that however you wish.
7) Be mindful of whom you allow in your inner circle. Very mindful; you become them.
8) Always have a good attorney in your corner.
9) Pictures. Take them, print them, frame them, hang them, put them in your car visor, at your office. When people are gone, you'll have the memories and you'll also want more pictures.
10) Grief is not overcome, it is merely absorbed into one's life.
11) Be playful. Get down on the ground and play. Get your crayons out and color. Get some action heroes and role play. Pick up the controller and play some video games.
12) Get. Outside. And. Explore. Your neighborhood, area parks, creeks, the sky. Be curious about your world.

13) Bonus: To do well, you must do good.

Share your's if you'd like.