You have worth.

You have worth. You have something to contribute. You are important.

I want you to hear that. Maybe even say it to yourself.

I have worth. I have something to contribute. I am important.

What you have to offer this world is something that only you can provide. There is no other person who has the unique gifts and contributions that you do.There may be times when you find it hard to believe. There may be times when others make it hard to believe about yourself. There may be times when you simply do NOT believe it. And there may be times that others do not believe it about you. But I want you to hear it loud and clear:

You have worth. You have something to contribute. You are important.

Build a Door

Throughout my life of coaching, counseling, guiding, leading and listening I have come across many people who see others as lucky because they have many opportunities "just handed to them." While this may be the case some of the time, I'd venture a guess to say that more oft than not those "lucky" people went out and built a door so that opportunity could come-a-knockin'. And then they had the audacity to answer the knocks!

Are you building doors for opportunities? Are you answering when it's knocked?

Decluttering: A Method for Success!

Mmmk, imma be honest here: EVERY year from Christmas to New Year's Eve I engage in a decluttering mania. And every year I'm like, "HOW did this happen!? Again!? " And yet the next year it still happens.

So this year, what I chose to do during my phase of purging clutter (and boy had it accumulated) I set a goal of purging one bag per day from Christmas (I actually started a few days before this year) until NYE. In years past, I would get so focused on filling the trash bag that I would get overwhelmed when I didn't make it and then I'd just stop and I'd be off track.

This year I mixed it up. I didn't set a size limit on the bag! I finally outsmarted myself and my negative patterns. This came in really handy one day when it was 10 at night, wrapping paper was thrown hither and yon, I was running a slight fever, coughing up my fourth lung (what?) and just didn't feel like it. Then I remembered...it's only one bag. No size requirements! So I grabbed a small paper bag I use for the farmer's market when I sell soaps (think one of those brown lunch sacks), and walked around putting random items of junk, trash, clutter in it until it was full. In no time at all, I had achieved my goal for the day: One bag of clutter in the trash/recycle/donation bin!

The next day I got up feeling quite successful and went on to fill four grocery bags of clutter from my kitchen alone! 

I share this only to encourage you to set yourself up for success in your goal setting. I believe in setting unrealistic goals, sure, like retiring with a million dollars in the bank. But then set your little incremental steps to get there. Be sure to celebrate your successes and modify your failures. If your goal is to lose 100 pounds, maybe your micro goal can be to get active for 20 minutes a day...even if that's just seven three-minute commercial breaks while watching television. If you want to eat healthier, start with one meal or snack a day. Your goals should scare you, and your steps should motivate and inspire you.

Whatever it is, YOU CAN DO THIS! I have faith in you. Later in the week I am going to post my weekly savings plan which will help you save $1,000+ by Christmas time! And it's all about little steps, celebrating success, and both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Remember, you CAN achieve your lofty and unrealistic goals, with making the next best step/choice possible.

Well, at least that's my twenty six point two cents worth anyway...

I. Can't. Do. This. As I do.

As my regular readers know, I've recently become a doting dad. I am so proud of my kiddoe and the progress he has made over the last nearly 3 months. There have been some uphill battles, yet there have been many more triumphs to be celebrated! ...increased desire to read (I believe reading is essential to so many things in life), better reading comprehension, nearly perfect scores on vocabulary assessments/tests for four weeks solid, more confidence in both math & science, social skills allowing him to make new friends, integration into a brand new family, decreased cussing and....and...and the list goes on.

There are days, however, that I end the night totally exhausted and think, "I can't do this." One such night I was depleted, I was in tears, my body ached to the same level of my heart. I think what we parents of children in the foster care system fail to share with each other are the hopeless moments. The moments where we wonder if love will overcome. Will 1, 5, 10, 15 years of neglect, abuse, abandonment, etc. be undone and redone in a healthier way? Maybe I'm just alone in this feeling at times? Yes, there are REALLY awesome moments to celebrate, there are equally difficult moments where doubt DOES begin to creep in. I believe in sharing this moments of despair, perhaps someone else can say, "OH MY GOD, I feel the same way too and you got through it? Maybe I can too! Maybe I'm NOT a bad parent because I feel this way..." Again, maybe I am alone in this feeling because I don't hear others talking about it.

But there is hope.

And I was reminded of this hope when I felt hopeless and like a miserable (MISERABLE I SAID) failure at mile 20 of my first marathon. I began to believe that I could not do it. I distinctly remember making the fatal flaw of stopping to pee, my legs froze in those few brief seconds it took to eliminate whatever drips of hydration I may have been holding on to. Then they began to shake and twitch, which sent this message to my brain that I couldn't do it, despite the months of training, reading and preparation. I remember seeing my friend Yadira during this period of doubt, and the doubts were quieted for a brief moment. Brief. Somewhere around mile 22 I caught back up to my running buddy, Trino, and began to verbalize that I couldn't do it. He kept saying, "but you are, look at you, you just took another step." "But I can't, Trino, I can't." "But you are, Donald, you are." and so this banter went back and forth until mile 25 (somewhere there was a cheer squad including a clown, signs and lots of crazy antics from my friends) when I saw the finish line sign. But doubt crept in. I thought they were tricking us and we had to double back through the neighborhood first. But with Trino alongside me, giving me encouragement truly at every step, I did cross that finish line. And what a glorious fucking finish it was! I remember going to the soda fountain and getting a coke. I skipped diet for that day. There was a big thing of rice and beans from the Colombia restaurant. I was enamored with my new, shiny mylar blanket. My boyfriend at the time even made it back in time to see me cross and help hold my wobbling body. On that day, I thought I crossed the finish line because my leg and body muscles were strong enough to transport me 26.2 miles in 4+ hours. Now I realize that's just my ego talking.

I didn't finish because I was personally strong enough; I finished because I had a support team to lift me up and propel me along the path when I was NOT strong enough. And I can do this too, not because I am strong enough but because those around me won't let me fail--THEY are strong enough to carry me when I am weak.

So yes, on this day when I am behind on reports, filing my taxes, dealing with tummy issues in the home, a yard that needs to be cut, a court date for expired tags I TOTALLY forgot about and a bank account that I refuse to look at..my brain might be telling me I can't, my mouth might be saying I can't, but damn it my--and your--actions are proving that we can.

Yes, Love is enough. Hope is enough. And there ya have it, a month on hiatus but my 26.2 exhausted cents worth anyway...

Old Friend, We Meet Again

I am learning more and more each week how out of it I was this year. People are telling me things, events, speeches, classes, etc, that I was involved in, gave, delivered, taught and I'm clueless. This was hammered home today by the level of difficulty in running the short 3.3 miles around Iroquois Park. Not too long ago, I was running from my house to Iroquois Park (1.6 miles) then around the park at least 2-3 times (7+ miles at minimum) and back home (another 1.6 miles). Today, I *drove* to the park and still barely made it around the 3.2 mile base. And I stopped to take a walking break.

Ugh. 

This sucks. 

What the heck happend!? 

I stopped putting in the work. Plain and simple. I rested on my laurels. Literally. And today, I expected to be able to conquer the park in the same 24-27 minutes I did last year. 30 minutes later I realized it was preposterous for me to expect that. And so it is. I've lost contact with the park. With my muscles. With my lung. With my future. With my past. With my life. With my motivation. With the insides of my thighs (did they burn like that last time I started running!?). With my head (pounding). With myself. 

As I was rounding the final hill I realized this is much like my life. I lived in Florida for 8 years. During those 8 years, I gradually lost contact with my Louisville people and connected with an equally fabulous group of Florida people. They became my support network. My Family. My confidants. My influence. My life. And now.... I haven't put in the work. It is preposterous to think that I'll maintain the same level of relationship with my Florida friends if I don't work for it. My friend S and I have played phone tag since my birthday (a month now) and finally connected briefly yesterday. It was good to catch up. But it was like running through the park--a little different. Familiar. Comfortable. Comforting. Welcomed. But different. 

I miss my Florida people and I've not found that same connection here in Louisville just yet. But it took me about four years in Florida-I'm entering my 3rd here. It's odd. Being on familiar turf, but knowing few and connecting with even fewer. It will take time, but I will be back. And so will my friend-network. 

Come to think of it, it's just like my running journey. It has had its ups and downs. The more effort I put forth, the more I yield. The more I give the more I receive. For one who is both an introvert and a non-runner the following is true of making friends and of running: it's not easy and staying on the couch is a much more alluring alternative but where does that get me? 

So there you have it...awkwardly trudging forward, trying to find my place in the running and friendship world. I'll get to the finish line one of these days, for now, in the words of Vivian (a presenter I had the opportunity to recently see), "a DLF > DNF > DNS" or "a dead last finish is greater than a did not finish , which is better than a did not show." At least that's my and Vivian's 26.2 friendcents worth...

Power!

(disclosure: This is a long one. No pictures. No links. The Power in this lies in reading it uninterrupted from start to finish.)

This run was couched in themes of POWER.

It was a Powerful run. My last long run was the pits, so I needed a good one to boost my spirits. It was Powerful.

I summonsed a Power that lied outside of me, channeled that to within me and then had the Power to say no to going to a great show Saturday night, get up at 5:30 a.m. on Sunday to get my run in before having the will-Power to *still* make it to church.

I took Power naps all day Sunday (2.5) to recover from my Powerful run.

But really, what prompted this theme on Power was a Powerful comment directed towards me Saturday. I organized a clean up and community meeting in an attempt to reclaim the gem that Iroquois Park once was from the dulled diamond in the rough it has become. I intended this to be a small gathering of a few people to toss around some ideas, make some commitments and ask Metro Parks and Louisville Metro Government to partner with us on areas that can't be managed by citizens (i.e. tree removal, rehabilitation, etc.) . It gained Power, and became much more. Several elected officials came. Representatives from Metro Parks and Olmstead Conservancy attended. I met with them beforehand to gain an insight I lacked previously. And so, on Sunday, about 30-35 people arrived, met in Jacobs Lodge and so began our conversation. There is a group that formed prior to this, but I got a negative feel, vibe, etc. so I opted to just do something small. Despite a few media inquiries, I chose not to comment and to request the process remain a citizen-driven one. The meeting went ok. There were no tables, chairs or seats, no running water or restroom facilities so it was uncomfortable at times but these are some of the very problems I wanted to address. And address them we began to.

And then we spent several hours collecting about six bags of trash from the North Lookout and surrounding trails. Young and old, male and female, gay and straight, all walks of life. That's the park I want to reclaim. Unfortunately, there are egos involved (including my own probably, I am human) and, as such, I had a nasty message waiting for me upon my return home. The line that got me the most was, "at this time, you are not the person I will follow." I'm ok with not being followed. What resonated with me was this line spoke volumes to this whole movement of restoring the park: I don't want to be followed, I don't want to be The Chosen One (hell, I didn't even know I was applying for the job. I probably would have showered had I known!), I am a citizen just like every single one of you reading this. You're all citizens. We're all in this together side by side. I want people to walk alongside WITH me, and me WITH them. That's why we're in this mess to begin with...somebody somewhere thought (dare I say thinks) that they know what's best for "The People" and, as such, asserts themselves as The Chosen One.

Honey, let me tell you that's not a Power I wish to have. And it isn't a Power that our "leaders" should wish to have either. If you choose to follow someone who wants the Power of being the chosen one, you may well have had the wool pulled over your eyes.

And so, while I ran three loops around Iroquois Park (as well as a couple miles leading up to and back home from)...this was a theme I tried to meditate on: The Power of love shall reign supreme over the love of Power. At least that's my 26.2 cents worth...but don't take it from me, have your own thoughts; it's a Powerful process.

Totally Zoned Out

During today's run, I'm honestly not sure where I went!

I mean, I started at Iroquois Park by the Amphitheater (Iroquois Amphitheater details), went left like I always do, got distracted by this lovely surprise, and then completely zoned out the rest of the run. It was neither an enjoyable nor unenjoyable run. Or at least, I don't think it was. This rarely happens to me during runs, but I just went somewhere else. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it as it makes me appear slightly flaky. I completely escaped my reality for 28 minutes and 48 seconds.

I just returned from vacation where I had a couple of awful runs. I ended my vacation working more than I should have, but that's how it works out sometimes. I ended my vacation drained rather than recharged. I guess The Universe gave me half hour to escape anyway. Odd. And I didn't fight it, I allowed it. I just followed the path. In the repetition, I suppose I slipped into an active/moving meditation. And through that, I was just guided by Spirit. I wasn't particularly looking forward to the run due to this ache, that pain, a little dehydration and some fatigue...but I let all of that leave my body and soul and just ran. My time of 28:48 is on the slow side, but not terribly so. I just followed.

I think I forget to do that and needed a reminder. My next three weeks are go, go, go. Maybe my next three weeks need to be follow, follow, follow. Yea, maybe that was the point of today's run. Or at least that's my twentysixpointtwo cents worth. . .

Here's the route and details: Running Meditation Today

Flatlined by Failure

Let me begin this blog by being brutally honest about my long "run" yesterday: I FAILED! And I failed miserably. As in, I was miserable before the run began, in the middle and long after I had finished it.

In today's society, we focus so much on "good job" "you're doing great" and a complete accentuation of the positive that we've frighteningly veered away from celebrating and acknowledging a failure along the way. While I agree we must focus on the positive...we must also focus on the reality and turn that into a positive for the next success.

even the view could not motivate me

I set out to run 12-15 miles. Last week, I ran a full 13.25 so this week should have been EASY up to about 12-13. I am currently in Florida on vacation at 15 feet above sea level and I never went more than 20 feet above sea level. This is NOT the case for the route I run back home where there is a several-hundred foot differential in start/mid/end elevation. But even before I went to bed, I knew it wasn't going to be a good run. When I woke up, I still felt it wasn't going to be a good run. And at mile 5ish when I took this picture it still wasn't a good run. During miles 10-12 when I played every mindgame in the proverbial runner's book...it STILL wasn't a good run. And finally, I gave up at mile 11.75. I failed. Miserable. Failure. Pained. Dehydrated. Sun kissed. Hobbled. Failed. That is the best way to describe my run.

But I still did it. And it is still going to be part of my success. I do not believe that success should be measured ONLY by the ultimate and final outcome...it should be measured by the beginning point, mid point(s), end point, and every point along the journey too. This was my route of failure, if you're inclined: http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/113533751

O-M-G, I need a seat in my shower at home
for all my future failures!

Similarly, I believe that failure should not be a finite. And I think that's why we shy away from saying, "I failed." and we certainly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by acknowledging, "you failed" but, my friends, who among us has not experienced a failure? Dare I say a catastrophic failure? You pick up and you move on. It isn't about the 1,000 failed attempts, it's about the one success, which, by the way, was strengthened by those failures along the way. So big flipping deal. You failed. Are you going to let it define and stop you? Or are you going to let it strengthen you and propel you forward?


I will admit, this thought did NOT come to me while feeling like an utter failure and a big sea cow clopping along at a 12 minute mile. It did strike me afterwards. So maybe I am doing little more than justifying a failed run, but eh...whatever...that's my twentysixpointtwo cents worth and I'm sticking to it!

perfect post failure reflection...

A Brand New CAR!

Ever wonder why we get so excited when the game show host squeels, "A BRAND NEW CAR!" ? I mean, even if you're not the one getting the car, heck, you may not even be connected at ALL to the person that *may* win the BRAND NEW CAR <re-read that in a game show host voice please>, but we all like new things. Sometimes the shinier and sleeker it is the more we are delighted.

Today, I was so excited to get out and try my BRAND NEW SHOES. The temperature today is supposed to reach 104 or something ungodly like that. And, as luck would have it (or misfortune) my mom kept Gabby last night so I won't get her until around noon today. I set my alarm for 6:30, snoozed til just before 7:00 and stumbled out of bed, walked the dog (that counts as a warm up, right?) and was already sweating just from a half block walk. But, I had the allure of BRAND NEW SHOES to tempt me. And BRAND NEW SOCKS. I'm not sure which made me more giddy. Probably the socks, to be honest (they were also only $11.99 compared to...well, the shoes were more). So I laced up, drove to the park, set my mapmyrun, tuned the pandora station to Black Eyed Peas and dove right in to the waves of heat emanating from the pavement. My goal is 8:30-8:45 min/miles for a short 3.3 miles (one loop around Iroquois Park). I came in at 8:29 min/mile. 

BRAND NEW SHOES!

I was going up the incline by the golf course when it came to me. I was enjoying my BRAND NEW SHOES, however that's not what kept the pep in my step. Last night, I allowed myself my one dessert of the week, I chose a flourless, no sugar added chocolate torte. Yes, there's still oodles of butter in it BUT I'm beginning to make small cuts and sacrifices and changes. I'm incorporating them into my daily living. 

It hit me like a ton of hot, steamy bricks. I was running for A BRAND NEW ME! 

My life has sucked for 8 months and I've been caught up in a cycle of grief. I'm probably still in it, and that's ok...I'll work with what I've got. But I remember how vibrant life felt when I was in marathon condition. How my skin radiated with happiness and glowed with contentment. How every step I made was made with a sense of accomplishment. In that run, on that awful hill with sweat coming out of every pore in my body (some I didn't even know I had) I remembered that I'm not just running for A BRAND NEW ME, I am running for a BRAND NEW FUTURE. A clandestine future that I make myself, influenced by those around me (positive or negative) and so...yes, it was the shoes that got me out in the heat this morning, but it was the allure of a BRAND NEW ME that kept me going to beat my time goal. 

Don't fool yourselves, you need a motivator. You need intrinsic and extrensic motivators. It's up to you to find what they are. It's ok to admit that you need something outside of you to get yourself motivated to get up and move. Treat yourself to a massage when you reach a milestone (also one of my perks) a new pair of expensive wicking socks, a decadent meal with a delicious dessert (yea, I said it), whatever it is, find your motivator and follow the heck out of it. You'll be SO glad you did as you're enjoying your new running shorts. That's my next reward. Once I reach a long run of 15 miles, I get some new running shorts. Find your motivator and run like hell to get to it. 

Or at least that's my twentysixpointtwocents worth. 

Do Not Settle

So the Sermon this Sunday at church focused on one phrase: Don't settle.

I have set a goal of a sub-4:00:00 marathon on October 28th. I began to settle...maybe this wasn't going to be my year. So much has happened. My agency has grown exponentially. I have a massive garden. I got two chickens. Grief still strikes me at random, odd and unwelcome times. It's a really hot summer. I don't have time. I'm stressed. I gained too much (grief) wait. Blah, blah, fucking blah! The ultimate reality and truth is: I began to settle! What a hypocrite I had become! Here I tell my kids they can be whatever they want, achieve all they set out to, transcend whatever vicious cycles they're "trapped" in and I began to settle.

No ma'am! Not anymore. I mean, I was on the friggin cover of the LEO. These kids look to me for hope when they may not have any other source. They come to me broken, beaten, downtrodden and full of self-doubt. And here I was going to let a few little life-occurrences let me settle.

I. Think. Not.

And so, I set it out this Monday. My course. My plan. My vision. Wait, no...there's that damn ego getting in the way again. I set out to follow The plan. The course. The vision. I happen to be a mere pawn in it.

I will be honest, I am still struggling. I still eat desserts more than once a week. Though I've conquered the candy challenge! I still drink sodas. And I still eat Ding Dongs now and then randomly throughout the week. But it's ok. It doesn't matter where I am today, it only matters that I move forward. That I've not settled. That I don't take a look around and say, "well, hey...maybe I didn't do a 4:00:00 marathon, but at least I did something. I think I'll stop now." Instead, I need to remind myself, "well hey, I didn't do a 4:00:00 marathon this time. What do I need to do in order to improve next time."

My journey isn't over, regardless if I do a sub 4 or not. My journey is on-going. And today, I set out to run 5 miles. 7.4 miles later I realized I had seriously under-estimated my distance from the park. But I didn't stop. I didn't settle. I kept moving forward. And here I am, less than 30 minutes later feeling like I need to puke and poop at the same time. But I didn't settle. I'm already looking forward to when I add the top lookouts of the park (another 200 feet in elevation maybe? and another 3ish miles) to my 5 mile run that turned into 7.

Don't Settle. It's just not in the Plan. Or at least that's my 26.2 cents worth. . .

The View You Have to Work For

Years ago, I was listening to some random NPR program. This was in the days when I didn't have a tv, but had Satellite Radio (in my defense, my ex paid for the subscription. And subsequently paid for a full year after we broke up too ha). Anyway...there was a program on indigenous ways of healing and medicine. As in those that are not chemically manufactured in a lab with high paid chemists in lab coats and goggles. Not that I'm against that in entirety (I reference this in a previous post, I won't belabor it here). Anyway, there was a healer from Appalachia being interviewed and he said something along the lines (I'm generously paraphrasing) that God put all the good healing herbs and roots far into the forest. The kind you had to work for to heal major ailments. i.e. peppermint, which cures a common upset tummy or bad breath, can be easily found everywhere. It takes a true healer and someone following Spirit to wade deep into the forest to find the herbs to heal the difficult and more serious ailments. And so the patient of the healer enjoyed the work of the healer.

view of beautiful valley, wanted you to experience as I did. 

So it is with running. I love running Iroquois Park (a common theme, no?). There is a route that takes you up. And keeps taking you up.  Nearly 2 miles of non-stop up. And when you've made it, you've truly made it. The view is GORGEOUS! This is the view you have to work for. Yea, yea you could get there by car. But I suspect the view is neither as awesome nor rewarding.

Click here to view the route and elevation


I ran the double loop a few days ago. Around the bottom, up to the middle-top, then I decided to take the plunge and keep going up. And up. And up. And up. And BAM! The view you have to work for. But by the time I got there, the last thing I wanted to see was a large vista that indicated the distance I had left to run in order to get to my car. Half way around the top loop, at the second look out, I thought, "stop. Enjoy the view. You've worked for it."

And so my invitation to you is this: When you reach the "summit" of any challenging task stop and enjoy the view. Afterall, this is the view YOU worked for. Give yourself permission to enjoy it. Otherwise, you might as well just (metaphorically speaking) stay on a treadmill. Or at least that's my twenty six point two cents worth.

So Simple; So Profound

I'm gonna give you today's theme without even having to work for it: HAVE FUN! 

BAM! 

WHOOP THERE IT IS! 

Cyndi Lauper, who is the the Grand Marshal for the Kentucky Derby Pegasus Parade tomorrow (in which my ducklings and I will be walking!) had it half right. She sang her heart out that, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Why does fun have to be relegated to girls? I want to have fun too! And I bet you do too if you think about it. 

Yes, running is great for heart-health, gives you uber sexy legs and ass (am I the only one who admires my own legs after a nice long run while in the shower? Please tell me I'm not), helps lower stress/tension, etc. But it's also fun. If it isn't maybe you should look into a new past time. That doesn't mean that it's going to be fun all the time. Seriously, miles 17-22 could hardly be described as fun. But you can make it *more* fun! 

Trino & I Laughing.
First Half Marathon, circa 2007 

Trino and I used to laugh so hard during races that we would get stitches in our sides. That's not fun, but it sure did create some memories. Whenever we'd see a camera we would do face-checks--ugly faces were never permitted even at mile 24. While running along BOYshore, anytime a car would honk we would wave, thank them and wax on about how awesome our asses must be that a car several blocks away could notice (we ignored the fact that they were honking at other cars, red lights, children, etc.) You see, we made it fun. Wait, that sounds odd...to have to make something fun sounds like work. Well, that is one way to look at it I s'pose. Another way to look at it is this: the work is still going to be present. The pain of running is still going to be present. The hours spent pounding the pavement are still going to be present. Why not find ways to make it fun. Try to outrun the chipmunk in the park, decode the clouds above (only for short periods, please watch where you're running), try to catch up to the next faster runner. Have fun with it. 

Running in honor of a friends child.
Decked out in Purple--head to toe! 

That's all. So simple, yet so profound. Have fun with it, y'all! 

Or at least that's my own 26 point 2 cents worth anyway...

Just Another Minute. . .

Today's running theme was simple: Just another minute. How many times have we told ourselves that? Usually it is in an attempt to procrastinate something. For me, it is is most often repeated before getting out of bed. Again and again and again. When I was in kindergarten, my grandma would wake me up in time for school. I would thrust my hand up and out of the blankets (particularly on cold mornings!) with my fingers spread far apart and say, "Just five more minutes, Grandma, just five more minutes." I often persuaded her, though I bet she woke me up five minutes before I needed to be up in anticipation.

Today, I used that same power of persuasion to keep me going. I needed to get four miles in today to achieve my goal of 20 for the week. It is daunting to believe that I'm struggling to get 20 in a week's time when come October 28, I will complete 26.2 miles in less than four hours. ACK, can't think about that right now! I digress...so I needed to get four miles in AND I need to work on my speed. To race fast you gotta train fast. SO I set a goal of under 40 minutes (which is NOT the pace I'll need in order to achieve my sub-4:00:00 marathon!). I remembered in my first marathon I would count from 60 to zero at times, thinking it's just another minute. Surely to God I can run for another minute. And then I would repeat that until I saw the mile marker, then the water stop, then the orange slice people, then the cracker people, then the water stop...you get the picture. I persuaded myself one minute at a time. In that moment, the only thing important to me was that next minute. I can do ANYTHING, endure ALL things for only one minute. One sixty-second period and then it's done! And so, every minute, I adjusted the speed. From 6 (10 minute miles) up to 8.5 (7 minute miles) one minute at a time, I would increase by .5, and then I'd persuade myself I can do ANYTHING for one minute. Once I reached the next mile, I started over again knowing I had already proven I could do it once, so I clearly could do it again. Then again. Then again.

And so I did.

Four miles and under 34 minutes later, I had convinced myself I could do it. I'll be danged if I did do it! We often start our Mondays wishing for Fridays and begin our Sundays sorry that the next is a Monday. I feel sorry for people who live for 2 days out of 7. Why not live for the next minute. Yes, there are moments that may be horrid throughout the week, but what if we live fully in that next minute. And then the next. And then the next. What would happen? I wonder what would happen if we disconnect sometimes and be fully present with those in our presence.

So today, after 34 minutes, that's what I was thinking. When life happens, and it will, I will remind myself it's only 60 seconds. Surely to God I can get through sixty seconds of anything!