Two Most Important Months

May & June are possibly the two most important months to me: Foster Care Awareness/Appreciation Month and LGBT Pride Month!

In our little 850 square foot home, we combine both of these months year 'round, really. But these two months are our's. They belong to us to celebrate. They are us!

When I was living in Florida, I had a burning desire to be a dad. I lived there for 7 years yearning to give a home to a child without one. Yet I never formally began the process. This was post-Anita Bryant and Florida still had archaic laws on the books regarding adoption by gays and lesbians. There was a court case where a gay couple had been fostering hard-to-place children but when it came time to make it permanent through adoption--the law said they couldn't! You read that correctly...for gays and lesbians to adopt was illegal! Against the law.

Lie. Some people said. But how could I when some friends and I had walked in the inaugural St. Petersburg Pride parade? When I had guided so many scared children to live their authentic lives? When I was so proud of who I had worked so hard to love? How could I bring a child into my heart and soul under the pretense of being anything other than who I was 100%? And so I didn't.

The first question I asked the trainer for my foster care class when I *did* begin the journey a decade later in Kentucky (right?) was about placing with an lgbt family. "Not a problem. My goal is to place children with the best home, I don't care if that's single, gay, married, straight..." GREAT! And so I began the process.

Six months later I had my bundle of joy. Two years after that, we were a permanent forever family.

And now, we celebrate Foster Care Awareness/Appreciation month as an integral and unfortunate part of our history, and LGBT pride month as a critical part of our present. What does the future hold? Lots of pride. I can tell you that.

I am proud of my son. When he first discovered, definitively, that I was gay he thought I was going to rape him. This was 9 months after being together. Now, 4 years later, he is active in his school's Gay-Straight Alliance! I am proud of myself because my son has PTSD flashback moments where he is transported from the present to times of trauma and I have learned how to bring him back. I am proud of my son because he was on the all F and D grade track when we became a family and now he finished middle school with a 3.75GPA (that's basically all A, B and a couple C grades all year...in fact, all middle school!). I am proud of St. Joe's Children's Home for being an advocate for children, not a pedagogy or political wind. I am proud of the little family my son and I have created together. It isn't perfect and it is super messy, but it is perfect for us.

So this month, if you are a member of the LGBT community please find something you're proud of about yourself. Dig deep if you have to because you are beautiful! And if you're not a member of the LGBT community, please respectfully join our celebrations to celebrate us--it's not your month but we do need you. And the other 11 months, remember we're still here, too. Remember the laws still do not favor us. Remember that it is your job to help dismantle that year 'round...don't be our allies in June because we throw great parties, be our allies in the voting booths too. Be proud of that.