Simple Self Care

Simple Tips for Self Care

Those of you who have followed my blog for awhile know I believe in self-care. I also believe self -care comes in many forms. Some people find it in meditation while others enjoy yoga, some love to go for a run and others like to veg out to their favorite show on tv.

The last few weeks have been difficult for America. Regardless where you stand on geo-political issues, it's been a rough bit of time for us, hasn't it? So I implore you, for the sake of our country's future and (more importantly) your own health PLEASE engage in some form(s) of self-care soon. Below are a few ideas to get you started, please feel free to add your own as a comment.

• Take time for just your, to be alone and decompress/process

• Visit with an old friend or family member that makes you laugh

• Enjoy that big ol slice of chocolate cake

• Fix a delicious fruit smoothie and enjoy it leisurely

• Spend some time in meditation

• Go for a jog, run, or walk

• Play on a playground, swinging and laughing like a child

• Color, craft, or other form of creation

• Take a hot bath

• Sleep in 15 minutes longer than usual

• Unplug from social media

• Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're worth it

For me, I always turn to Mother Nature when I need some self care. Tomorrow we will be taking a short hike. Being in Nature always grounds me. Enjoy your moment(s) of self-care and please know you are worthy and deserving of living a happy, healthy, and whole life.

What Brings You Joy

On occasion, I find it helpful to write down things, activities, etc. that bring me joy and happiness. I find it helpful to write them probably because I'm both visual and tactile, but then writing is also verbal/linguistic, believe it or not! (click here to read more about learning styles: Overview of Learning Styles.)

A few years ago,  my joy-list making was taken to a whole new level: I made a list of the things/activities/etc. in which I actually engaged. 

Finally, I compared the two lists.

Sure, there were some overlaps but not nearly as many as I thought. More often than I'd prefer to admit, I find the two lists are out of alignment: What I DO/ENGAGE in doesn't align with that which brings me joy and happiness. Sometimes (translation: ALL THE TIME) I struggle to balance life...single dad, entrepreneur, fledgling writer, son, uncle, community member, friend...it's hard to balance and juggle all the balls AND still take time for those activities I truly enjoy. 

I don't have a solution and I don't have judgement. Just a simple exercise to give some insight, if you're honest with yourself. This activity will be in my upcoming book of journal prompts with a few more details added. In full disclosure: I am considering launching a campaign through the online service "Buy Me a Coffee" to secure the funding for self-publishing. Exclusive content (journal prompts) will be available ahead of publication. But for now, I am just testing the waters. Writing brings me joy, so I am trying to get back to doing it more regularly and that's my main focus at this moment. 

Make a List of the Things/Activities/Etc. that bring you joy:

Make a List of the Things/Activities/Etc. in which you regularly engage: 

Compare the two lists and observe: 

• Are there similarities? 
• Differences? 
• Overlaps? 
• Gaps? 

What prevents the two lists from being identical? 

Are there things you would like to adjust? 

What is your next step to adjust and align the two lists if you desire? 

What are obstacles to adjusting/aligning the two lists? 

What are supports that will help adjust/align the two lists? 

That's all for today, I hope you find some time for joy and happiness over the next 24 hours! 

Donald

Self Care is Wellness

Self Care is not selfish, it is wellness. Say it with me: Self care is not selfish, it IS wellness. And one more time for all the people in the back row: Self care is *not* selfish, it *IS* wellness.

Self care is wellness.

I have been in the helping field 22 years now, professionally. Add four years to that as a volunteer. That's a long time. I have seen all different types of social service workers and people in general. One thing I tried to begin implementing about mid-way thru my career was intentional self-care for me and for my staff & volunteers. At times, I was called indulgent, extravagant, selfish, needy and my favorite has been, "you're the king of self-care," said with a smirk and an unpleasant tone.

But they were, and remain, right. I had become expert at self-care. That was a time when I had lost my job due to "budget cuts" (another post for another day), lived in a tiny GARAGE studio "apartment" (and I use quotes here...the only thing that separated me from my 92 year old land lady's car was a sheet of drywall!), was $30K+ in debt, and kinda faltering in my life-direction. But dang it, I included some self-care every month! Once I set my mind to paying my debt off, each month that I met my financial goals I had a massage therapist come to my apartment, I rearranged everything to accommodate her massage table, and I enjoyed a self-care massage. Yes ma'am I sure did! Her name was Austin, we've become friends. She taught me so much about my body and taking care of it (this was before I became an LMT).

I began only working on growing my business four hours a day because it was emotionally draining to be fired from a job that recruited you to begin with, and that I had uprooted my only known existence to accept and then try to figure out how to start and grow a business in a town I'd only been in for 18-24 months. That was an outrageous act of self-care. And people thought I should be working more instead of going to the beach.

I had the audacity to begin taking care of myself once I realized nobody else was. My company did not care about me. My co workers did not speak up for me. My friends encouraged me to work more (I mean, that's actually not a bad idea on the surface level). My family wanted me to move back to Kentucky. If I was to do more than survive, I'd have to engage in intentional self-care to *thrive*; I was determined to thrive.

For me, self-care sometimes is catching the sunrise
over a body of water, just me and God. 

Even today, people have disdain for the fact that I intentionally put self-care high on my priority list. I could work more, absolutely! I definitely could be at my office longer hours. I could take a few more clients a week. Crank out more soaps and spend less time camping or hiking. I could cut out my twice-weekly afternoon naps. And I most assuredly could skip a massage or two. But why? So I can prove my priorities are to achieve more? Be more? Make more? Each of those "mores" end with money or "success."

Sure, I really want to achieve more, be more, make more...happiness, present, memories. I am rewriting the American Dream story to fit me. And self-care is a crucial piece to that. I am no longer ashamed to say, "no, I'd rather not go to dinner with you on my child-free Friday, I really just need to stay home and binge-watch Fuller House on the couch to recharge." That is a radical act of self-care! "Please hold my calls, I am going to get a massage for 60 minutes." What the what!? It is time y'all, time to reclaim YOURSELF and treat yourself right!

Please, hear me correctly though: SELF CARE IS WELLNESS, selfishness is a beast of a different color. It is ok to put the needs of others ahead of your needs at times (actually, I think it is necessary) and it is also ok to engage in self-care. So this over the next week or so, look at your time-budget (another post for another day) and devote some time for intentional self care. I'll make a post later including some of my and my friend's favorite acts of self-care. You can get us started by leaving a comment if you'd like.

So there you have it, if you've made it this far in this long, rambling, meandering post:
Self care is wellness.

Or that's my 26.2 cents worth anyway.
Donald, King of Self Care