Self care is wellness.
I have been in the helping field 22 years now, professionally. Add four years to that as a volunteer. That's a long time. I have seen all different types of social service workers and people in general. One thing I tried to begin implementing about mid-way thru my career was intentional self-care for me and for my staff & volunteers. At times, I was called indulgent, extravagant, selfish, needy and my favorite has been, "you're the king of self-care," said with a smirk and an unpleasant tone.
But they were, and remain, right. I had become expert at self-care. That was a time when I had lost my job due to "budget cuts" (another post for another day), lived in a tiny GARAGE studio "apartment" (and I use quotes here...the only thing that separated me from my 92 year old land lady's car was a sheet of drywall!), was $30K+ in debt, and kinda faltering in my life-direction. But dang it, I included some self-care every month! Once I set my mind to paying my debt off, each month that I met my financial goals I had a massage therapist come to my apartment, I rearranged everything to accommodate her massage table, and I enjoyed a self-care massage. Yes ma'am I sure did! Her name was Austin, we've become friends. She taught me so much about my body and taking care of it (this was before I became an LMT).
I began only working on growing my business four hours a day because it was emotionally draining to be fired from a job that recruited you to begin with, and that I had uprooted my only known existence to accept and then try to figure out how to start and grow a business in a town I'd only been in for 18-24 months. That was an outrageous act of self-care. And people thought I should be working more instead of going to the beach.
I had the audacity to begin taking care of myself once I realized nobody else was. My company did not care about me. My co workers did not speak up for me. My friends encouraged me to work more (I mean, that's actually not a bad idea on the surface level). My family wanted me to move back to Kentucky. If I was to do more than survive, I'd have to engage in intentional self-care to *thrive*; I was determined to thrive.
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| For me, self-care sometimes is catching the sunrise over a body of water, just me and God. |
Even today, people have disdain for the fact that I intentionally put self-care high on my priority list. I could work more, absolutely! I definitely could be at my office longer hours. I could take a few more clients a week. Crank out more soaps and spend less time camping or hiking. I could cut out my twice-weekly afternoon naps. And I most assuredly could skip a massage or two. But why? So I can prove my priorities are to achieve more? Be more? Make more? Each of those "mores" end with money or "success."
Sure, I really want to achieve more, be more, make more...happiness, present, memories. I am rewriting the American Dream story to fit me. And self-care is a crucial piece to that. I am no longer ashamed to say, "no, I'd rather not go to dinner with you on my child-free Friday, I really just need to stay home and binge-watch Fuller House on the couch to recharge." That is a radical act of self-care! "Please hold my calls, I am going to get a massage for 60 minutes." What the what!? It is time y'all, time to reclaim YOURSELF and treat yourself right!
Please, hear me correctly though: SELF CARE IS WELLNESS, selfishness is a beast of a different color. It is ok to put the needs of others ahead of your needs at times (actually, I think it is necessary) and it is also ok to engage in self-care. So this over the next week or so, look at your time-budget (another post for another day) and devote some time for intentional self care. I'll make a post later including some of my and my friend's favorite acts of self-care. You can get us started by leaving a comment if you'd like.
So there you have it, if you've made it this far in this long, rambling, meandering post:
Self care is wellness.
Or that's my 26.2 cents worth anyway.
Donald, King of Self Care
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